I must die. I must be imprisoned. I must suffer exile.
But must I die groaning? Must I whine as well?
Can anyone hinder me from going into exile with a smile?
The master threatens to chain me: what say you? Chain me?
My leg you will chain—yes, but not my will—no,
not even Zeus can conquer that.
―Epictetus
—Julian of Norwich
When we deeply grasp what has happened to us, it becomes clear that we’re doing great. One of the essential shifts in perspective that I’m hoping you’ll take from The Joyous Recovery is to drop the notion, “I need to change what’s wrong with me,” and replace it with, “It’s incredible that I’ve done as well as I have. Now it’s time to do even better.”
Think of healing not as a process of changing, but the opposite: of becoming more truly the person you’ve always been. It’s about going back along the road picking up all the pieces of yourself that were taken from you along the way. We’re not trying to fix what’s wrong with you; we’re trying to set what’s right with you free.
—The Joyous Recovery, Lundy Bancroft
