I must have the right to say “No.” Only I can give myself this right on a meaningful basis. My no is a function of some of the deepest compassionate feelings for myself. This no of mine represents whatever force I can bring against anything in me or outside of me which I recognize as being antithetical to my well-being. This no represents me at my most grown up. This no makes my yes meaningful. Without this no I am without healthy, self-preserving defenses against infantile aspects of myself … Without this no I am indefensible against the demands of other people and their desires.
―Compassion and Self-Hate, Theodore Isaac Rubin